“Until You Get Tired of Me…”

Editor’s Note:

I’m TIRED of reading about the ability we have to extend lives… in medicine. We have a very real moral crisis on our hands.

Most of the people I’m writing about could never qualify as “patients deserving another shot at life”.

I see that day in and day out. How do I recognize it? By the lack of patients of color, different ethnicity, or life choices that are easily condemned by people that basically don’t have a clue of what it’s like to be poor and desperate.

“Until You Get Tired of Me…”

That simple expression is the stripped down equivalent of loss of self esteem- self worth- self everything… To put a face and a person to that declaration is an alarming snapshot and probably a very sincere expression of how that person perceives their worthiness in our society or lack of their belief in a purpose in life?

“Until You Get Tired of Me…”

But over and over again it remains an empty promise. The very fact that it is obviously an answer to a question from somebody that is looking for a provider speaks volumes about the power dynamic between both parties. It’s most often a response any provider pledges when they are looking to just survive.

Whether it is for the next hotel room payment, the next holiday and buying presents for their children, or hoping for some sort of divine economic boost that might separate them from the streets that have become the scary monster that might rule them the next day?

That’s not living. It’s the total absence of hope.

“Until You Get Tired of Me…”

It may be a promise made out of desperation in order to secure the “fix” they need, or the pressure of pure survival when they are getting pushed by a pimp to deliver money on a very strict timetable. It is usually the dark side of that fear that I have not seen but heard it implied too often, I can’t describe that aspect of it because I haven’t lived it.

Regardless of what the money is for? It is always the bottom line. Feelings and self esteem can step aside…

My observation is that what resonates behind that answer- “Until You Get Tired of Me…”

If the the person sending it truly means it- then it’s clear that person is not in a position of power to escape their seriously compromised life situation… It truly sucks to hear it. And if you are hearing it?

It means You Asked That Question all by your lonesome.

And that question will always be: How long will you stay?

And yes- I did ask that question and I don’t regret asking it even if it did just cost me $200 to establish beyond a doubt that the lady of my interest was as equally interested, but the wolf behind her was a little too scary and salivating a little too much anticipating a new meal…

The odd thing is… It’s not really a secret Highway. Everyone knows it’s there and the bottom line is that no one gets on that ride unless they choose to. And that particular observation suggests a lot more traffic than we truly want to admit.